OFFSPRING
"A CHILD" OR "THE PRODUCT, RESULT OR EFFECT OF SOMETHING"
Offspring is an ongoing project that explores the physical and psychological changes that occur with the transition into motherhood from the perspective of Black mothers in the UK. The photographs of more visible physical changes like stretch marks, wrinkles, scars or mementoes of early motherhood serve as a backdrop for visualising and discussing less obvious physiological changes and mental health issues that are taboo or tend to be swept under the carpet.
The objective is to create space for mothers at any stage in their journeys to share their stories without fear of judgement as their anonymity is preserved. The resulting body of work is a collection of images accompanied by text from mothers of diverse backgrounds, who though experiencing all these changes, would generally be culturally stifled into silence and unable or unwilling to share. The process of sharing these stories is not only cathartic for the mothers but also reveals diverse realities of black motherhood to a larger audience.
One mother’s story…
I am a proud mum of two, a nineteen-year-old and a three-year-old. Before them, motherhood didn’t interest me. I saw children as too much weight and all I wanted was to live my life untethered. I remember my mum saying it was because I hadn’t found the right person yet and she was right! When I met my older child’s father, the emotions and maternal instinct took over and shortly after, she was born. The plan was to get married after she arrived but things didn’t work out between us. Years later, I met my husband who loved us and accepted my daughter as his own. And again like a switch was flipped, I wanted to have his babies. Being a very traditional man, he wanted me to meet his family and be married first. The formality and security of the whole process was something I didn’t think I needed until I experienced it. It felt like home.
My first pregnancy was so easy. I had no complications except for discovering that I carried the sickle cell trait. I had no idea pregnancy could be so complex until I started trying to conceive again. I had four miscarriages, one stillbirth and another miscarriage before my three-year-old son was born.
To say that the stillbirth was a life-changing experience is an understatement. I knew something wasn’t right with the pregnancy. It felt like she was dropping but my concerns were dismissed as “just normal”. I also suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) and wasn’t taken seriously enough. I remember one particularly awful episode when the paramedics turned up at my door and had no idea how to treat me because they thought I just had morning sickness. At the time I wasn’t aware of potential complications like pre-term labour or contractions constricting the baby’s airway. The labour lasted for eighteen hours. For some reason, my body wasn’t cooperating and my water had to be broken by the midwife. It turned out that the heavy, dropping feeling I had been experiencing throughout pregnancy was my cervix opening. It was such a painful experience to have to bury our baby.
As a Black mother, I often feel like I have to fight extra hard for my voice to be heard. When the miscarriages kept happening, my husband and I did extensive research that led to discovering that I had ovarian cysts. We consulted with three doctors who had varying opinions. The first doctor wanted to remove the ovary entirely, which we weren’t happy about but he wasn’t attentive to our concerns. The second doctor recommended not taking out the cyst at all and considering my poor quality of life, this was unacceptable. The last doctor was a godsend. She listened to our concerns and let us know she will attempt to remove the cyst but if she opened me up and found a mess, she would have to take out the entire ovary. In the end, she only needed to take out the cyst and after that procedure, we were able to conceive our three-year-old.
Had you asked me how I felt about life and motherhood when I was experiencing all this, I would have come from a place of deep sorrow. But the experiences have changed me. I now really see life for the miracle it is.
If you would like to participate or get more details, please get in touch. It is important to note that one becomes a mother in different ways including surrogacy and adoption. All stories from Black mothers in the UK are valid and welcome! To keep up with the progress of the project, subscribe to my newsletter and follow me on Instagram and Twitter.
This project is supported by Grand Plan Fund.